I’m trying to fall asleep but I can’t. Whenever I close my eyes, all I see are images of the past year – images of me in the psych ward when my friends came to visit; images of my best friend telling me she doesn’t want me in her life right now; images of the guy I like kissing me and then turning around and saying he’s not ready for a relationship. Too many images.
I get images of the good times, too, but they’re only all the more painful for being gone now. Images of times spent at coffee shops getting breakfast with friends only reminds me of how alone I am right now. Images of me laughing only makes me feel all the more like wanting to cry. Images of being intimate only cuts more sharply how much I’m lonely.
I want to go to sleep, but there are too many images.