He says he’s not ready. Doesn’t know when he’ll be ready. Doesn’t know if it’ll be weeks, months… or years. I want to scream, “Why? Why aren’t you ready?” Why aren’t you ready to love me? You say that you love me, that you like me, that you want me, but that still, you are not ready to have me. I want to demand the reasons why we cannot be together, the reasons that are keeping your heart walled off from mine.
Because still, you are romancing me. Still, you tell me that you have not slept because of missing me. Still, you tell me that I make you happy. Still, you tell me to never let myself think that I don’t matter to you. And it’s confusing as hell, my dear. Confusing as hell.
Because I want you. I let my heart go online. I let myself fall in love. I let myself kiss and be kissed. I let myself be vulnerable. I let myself show you the inside of my head, what I’m thinking and feeling. I let myself show you me. And now you say that you are not ready.
I want to demand why, to know what is keeping us apart. But I know that because I love you, because I understand the phrase “I’m not ready to be in a relationship,” because I respect where that phrase comes from, because I respect you, I cannot.