Give Me A New Heart

This morning, I prayed, “God, give me a new heart.”

I realized that my heart isn’t entirely life-oriented. I was praying, “God, tahnk you that I still have my health, that I’m still alive”… and I didn’t feel it. I was saying it but not really meaning it. I didn’t really care that I still had my health. I didn’t care that I wasn’t sick. And to way more of an extent than I’m comfortable with, I didn’t care that I wasn’t dead. In some ways, I even wanted to be sicker. I wanted to be flirted with death. I wanted that extreme.

But I, the real me, I’m not okay with that.

I’ve always been a healer. Dedicated so life. So why does death hold this odd fascination for me? The temptation… not good. Not good not good not good.

I need a new heart. God, please, please give me a new heart. One for life.

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6 Responses to Give Me A New Heart

  1. jane says:

    I. love. you.

  2. yourothermotherhere says:

    Without darkness, would we know and appreciate the light? You may see the scales tipping towards the darkness from time-to-time, but remember, what we see can be deceiving and it is God who holds the scales. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Never.

  3. mo says:

    This is a very good prayer. We can do little to change on our own power, but the Lord is faithful to remake us.

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