I can’t cry anymore.
I used to be able to cry. I’ve always been pretty sensitive. I cry because someone got hurt. I cry because someone’s mad at me. Hell, I even cried during the movie Lilo and Stitch. Oh I used to be able to cry.
But now, it’s like my emotions are just numb. So it took me by surprise yesterday when in the middle of a therapy session, I almost burst into tears over remembering how my parents haven’t been there for me. It was startling, how something that I thought that I had processed and hashed through again and again could still evoke such a strong, raw response in me. I’m hitting a wall where I just can’t cry, but yesterday, there were almost tears.
Apparently I have work to do yet.